September 9, 2011


Charge - Raped by the TSA

September 9, 2011. Los Angeles. WARNING. For mature audiences only. This article contains sexually explicit language and depictions. If you were a typical young, attractive female author and syndicated advice columnist and you were literally raped, by any moral standards as well as the legal definition, what would you do? Would you yell, “Rape!”? What if the person raping you was a TSA agent and you were merely standing in line to go through airport security at LAX? What if once the agents got their hands on you, they wouldn’t let go and they wouldn’t stop raping you and you couldn’t get away? That’s the terrifying position the Advice Goddess Amy Alkon recently found herself in.

Thanks to our friends at, our good friends after showing their independent streak and publishing this story, we heard about the ‘Advice Goddess’, Amy Alkon. By all standards, Amy appears to be your average, young, attractive advice columnist. She’s no rookie either. Her column runs in over 100 newspapers and she’s appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, CNN, Entertainment Tonight and the list goes on and on. She’s not your typical libertarian activist. As we all know, if she was, she would never have made it onto all those shows.

Amy Alkon - the 'Advice Goddess'

Amy’s experience is anything but typical

On March 31, 2011, Amy Alkon was going through security to board her flight from Los Angeles to Binghamton. Like all travelers, she was given the choice between the naked x-ray machine or a physical pat-down. Extremely reluctant to do either, the voluptuous bombshell chose to go for the quick physical check rather than expose her naked body to whoever might be monitoring the screen and whoever else might be getting their hands on the videos. We at Whiteout Press completely understand and don’t blame her at all. Actually, Amy’s only stated reason for not going through the scanners is because, as she states it, “Do you trust the government that they're safe?”. Well, here at Whiteout Press, “No, we don’t either”.

After "assuming the position", a female TSA agent began frisking our Advice Goddess. As the experience went on, it became obvious this wasn’t any standard pat-down. With tears in her eyes, the suddenly overly-intrusive assault went on. As tears began rolling down her cheeks, Amy’s shock, fear and feeling of helplessness changed into resentment and anger. This TSA agent wasn’t only violating her rights, the agent was violating her body.

Amy suddenly did what only a small handful of Americans ever dare to do – peacefully challenge the abuse of power and the constant violation of our Constitutional Rights. As Amy writes it:

“Basically, I felt it important to make a spectacle of what they are doing to us, to make it uncomfortable for them to violate us and our rights, so I let the tears come. In fact, I sobbed my guts out. Loudly. Very loudly. The entire time the woman was searching me.”

If you’re wondering just how sexually explicit this assault got, here’s Amy’s account:

“I sobbed even louder as the woman, FOUR TIMES, stuck the side of her gloved hand INTO my vagina, through my pants. Between my labia. She really got up there. Four times. Back right and left, and front right and left. In my vagina. Between my labia. I was shocked -- utterly unprepared for how she got the side of her hand up there.”

When the TSA agent had finally finished physically assaulting her, Ms. Alkon was allowed to move along. Still crying and gathering herself to leave, Amy yelled, “You raped me!”. She then went on to write down the TSA agent’s name so she could file sexual assault charges. Like most Americans suddenly caught in the reality of our government, Amy planned to call the police. Many of our readers are smiling, if not laughing right now. Yes, we were once there too - naïve and hopeful. Here at Whiteout Press, we’re still hopeful, but we stopped being naïve a long time ago.

The story suddenly gets personal, and legal

With the angered and outraged Advice Goddess back at home and in front of her syndicated column and web blog, she did what any of us independent columnists would do. She wrote about her experience. And as you read above, she got detailed. She used names too, including the airline and the full name of the TSA agent.

That attack took place on March 31, 2011. On April 26, 2011, Amy made her story public, writing about the humiliating experience in her blog, ‘the Advice Goddess’. On July 12, 2011, she received a letter from a law firm in Santa Monica, CA representing the TSA agent. The letter states:

“These outbursts in public and writings on the internet have subjected my client to hatred, contempt, ridicule, or obloquy, and have injured her in her reputation and occupation. Furthermore, as a result of your actions, my client has suffered and continues to suffer damages including but not limited to severe emotional distress, fear, difficulties performing her duties, and other problems as a proximate result of your tortuous actions.”

Funny how the victim is being accused of “torturing” the TSA agent and not the other way around. And obloquy means ‘humiliation’, ‘shame’ or ‘disgrace’. We didn’t really know what it meant either.

The TSA agent’s attorney’s letter goes on to order Amy, “to remove the offensive false statements against my client, to retract your false statements, and to issue a written apology.” The letter goes on to demand Ms. Alkon also pay $500,000 to the TSA agent or face litigation.

In response, the Advice Goddess retained the prestigious legal team from Randazza Legal Group. After hearing Amy’s story, attorneys offered to volunteer their services free of charge. On September 6, 2011, and with a libertarian flare, Randazza shot back their own letter. Speaking of the TSA agent’s actions, they write:

“[TSA agent/name withheld] may plead ‘I was just doing my job’, but that defense is both unpersuasive and insulting…[TSA agent] decided to do the opposite and actually abused her position. If the cost is mere criticism, [TSA agent] should consider herself to be fortunate…Ms. Alkon did what any good American should do – she refused to quietly give up her rights and her dignity.”

Amy’s lawyers get right to the point when their letter proclaims:

“Factually, [TSA agent]’s actions were rape. ‘Sexual violence includes rape, defined as physically forced or otherwise coerced penetration – even if slight – of the vulva or anus, using a penis, other body parts or an object.’”

The letter ends, “We are vigorously prepared to defend Ms. Alkon’s First Amendment rights”. Guess what, so are we.

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